Changes:
My original design had very flat and blocky structure, so I created new textured topic boxes to give the design more of an earthy look. Along with that I created a vector of a leaf to use instead of having arrows everywhere. This compliments the outdoorsie topic and helps direct the audience from subject to body text.
Instead of having solid colors throughout the entire page I decided to try a gradient, but also kept the dark green dividers that are used on the front and back of the brochure.
Any and all feedback on this would be helpful and please don't be light of criticism, its a wonderful part of the learning experience and I would love to hear what you truly feel would make this a stronger design. Thank you, Christopher Gordon
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ReplyDeleteI've been to Doane's Falls many times -- it's a beautiful spot for photography, so I was eager to review this brochure. Nice layout in general. I like the use of the color green with the nice gradients, representing nature; and the leaves. Very appropriate. The brochure makes me yearn to return.
ReplyDeleteOne suggestion: Use less italics in the contact section. Maybe some regular; some italic?
Some questions:
Were the updates you made to this brochure based on comments from the classmate who reviewed it, or did you do these on your own, or were the updates a combination of both? If possible, I'd like to see how the brochure folds to get a better idea of how all the elements of design work together.
On the two panels that share Thoreau’s quote, I’m not sure about the graphic. Is that the falls and the wooded area that runs along the falls? It’s probably my computer screen, but it took me a minute to figure it out.
Was it the idea of the Trustees to connect Doane’s Falls to Thoreau and Walden Pond, or was this your idea? My first thought when I saw the reference in the brochure to Thoreau was “Why?” What has Thoreau got to do with Doane’s Falls? Did Thoreau visit Doane’s Falls? Is that the connection? And then I read the last line under “Finding Your Walden”: “Take a trip out to Doane’s Falls and re-communicate with the beauty of nature today.” OK. Got it. Just as Thoreau escaped the craziness of urban life by retreating to Walden Pond, visitors today, too, can find their serenity at Doane’s Falls. However, this wasn’t immediately evident to me. I had to do some contemplating. Maybe the text could be re-worked to make that connection earlier.
Some typos in panels, grammar:
1) History. The last sentence is awkward. It sounds at first reading as if all that remains are the foundations of the falls, when I know you mean the foundations of the businesses.
2) Memorial. Please insert a period after "Bragg.”
3) When to Visit. Spell out one hour and two hour. Should there be a link to Coddings Meadow, since it’s mentioned here?
4) Henry David Thoreau. Abbreviate: Concord, Mass. Remove comma after 1840s: “1840s with poet”. Italicize the name of Thoreau’s book, Walden. Emerson’s property was located in Concord; maybe add that.
5) Finding Your Walden. OK, now I see more info about Coddings Meadow. Typo: “recommunicate”.
Chris , overall a nice organic feel with color palette, photos, and logo icon that supports the content (wilderness, forests, water). I see that this is a 4-panel brochure with gatefolds into the center that hold a Thoreau quote – a lovely way to invite the reader inside. It took me a minute to figure out the folding pattern!
ReplyDelete1. Cover – nice straightforward design. I question the need for the circle around the square logo, should this shape be filled with an accent color? Also – I see an almost symmetrically balanced design. The only element that doesn’t follow this symmetry is the leaf in bottom right. Is there another place that would help fully balance the page (bottom left would work)?
2. Large green shapes behind interior headings: I wonder if we have an instance where the “less is more” theory could help you. The large, heavy, green designs behind each of the 6 headings inside could have been successful if you had used the shape once … but maybe here is an instance where we have “too much of a good thing”… which can often result in it no longer seeming like a good thing. You’ve made this shape quite bold… and it will draw our eye to where ever you use it (which is part of the problem with using it so many times here). So… let’s honor that boldness and use it once, but even larger Could it be stretched across all 4 panels on the inside and hold not just some headings, but their sections as well? I encourage you to actually be “more bold” with its use… but use it much less often in the design.
3. Same issue with the lovely vector leaf - too often used in a too similar way… so it becomes redundant, poor thing. It is used appropriately on the cover – we see it twice but there aren’t too many other elements competing for space here - unlike the inside panels… where there are many elements competing for the space. If we see this leaf again, maybe it should be much smaller, and as more of a detail rather than important page element. Currently it exists in various positions on the inside – but I’m not sure what all these leaves are supposed to make me think. Have you thought of sprinkling smaller, multi-colored, leaves down one size of the brochure… to simulate the carpet of leaves on a forest floor. The color could shift a bit, but all stay in the green range if you like. If you group them, they would suggest something to us, and grouped together they make a larger, more important and interesting element for the design.
4. Map on back cover – if there is any way to enlarge the map it would be good. If not, I wonder if I you can include an inset of the most important area… maybe the entrance? In the end, the map is more important than the contact info… so it makes sense that it get 2/3 of the panel, while you reduce the type size (which looks overly large) on the rest of the panel. NOTE: heading “Tully Trail” should sit FL with its section.
5. Lastly - consider negative space your friend - don't try to fill all areas of the paper... allow the reader to have some restful space. Especially important because of the subject matter here - "restful" is an adjective that I suspect might describe this place.
Lots to think about, and thank you to Virginia for proofing this closely and catching the typos.
I like how you carry out the leaf through the entire design to pull it all together. Very nice movement throughout. Did you draw the waterfall?
ReplyDeleteI also love your font choice for the headlines.
ReplyDeleteI like your redo, although I remember liking your original design as well (prior to this redo).
ReplyDelete1) I like the cover photo, gatefold flap art, and the leaves throughout the piece. One thought, though, is the flap art and leaves are quite opposite styles—the flap art is very painterly and the leaves are very crisp, outlined leaves. It might be more cohesive if the painterly art had more detail or the leaves were less crisp to create some continuity with the flap art. It's just a thought.
2) On the back, I would make the text upper and lower case to be more easily read. I would also use italics more selectively—just accents of italics rather than all italics. Also, for me, the introduction of a third font on the back panel doesn't seem necessary. Would it work to use one of the two fonts already used elsewhere on the project?
3) The Thoreau quote seems to be lost with the artwork in the background. Would it help to make it larger, bolder, or a different font to stand out more from the background art?
4) I agree with Coni about the large green shapes on the inside. With so many occurrences of the art, it does several things:
a) Breaks up the flow of the inside spread too much.
b) Makes everything too green.
c) Makes the reader focus on the green shapes more than the photos.
5) I like the gradients with the green but find the thick lines and the green shapes conflict with each other a bit. Perhaps there is a way to combine them more.
6) I would work with the way the text wraps around the leaves so that it wraps more uniformly around the leaves.
Even though those are a lot of comments, the general feel of the brochure has potential.