Project #2 The Fray Digital CD Booklet
Change suggested:
1. Try removing the dripping points on the heart/v of the cover to make it a more noticeable letter V in the word save.
2. Enlarge group photos.
3. Fix grammatical errors on the About the Band page. Example: Started off using first names then switched to last names. Too confusing.
4. Try either a different font or bold the font used in the words: "save a" on the page made up of mirrored Positive/Negative space.
5. Make the "S" a lower case s on the last page to match the cover.
Changes implemented:
Changes implemented:
1. Removed the dripping points on the Heart/V on the Cover and I rounded out the heart more so that the heart shaped was much easier to see as a V as well. This change seems easier on the eyes.
2. I enlarged the group photos to go outside the box.
3. Along with fixing the grammatical errors, I eliminated some text, zoomed out away from the pulsing heart background to give more space and increased the size of the text just a hair.
4. I wanted to keep that frayed looking rope font seeing how a.The band is called the fray b.They sing about unraveled lives and c.The words "save a" are supposed to be hanging onto the rope like a lifeline. So I ended up thickening the font a bit and went down on the leading bringing the S A V E closer together to increase it's legibility.
5. I did the same thickening for the words "Tree of Life" and did some adjusting to make the song list stand out a little more and not get so lost.
6. I made the lower case s on the last page along with changing out the heart/v to the new softer one.
7. Lastly, I adjusted the export settings for a crisper looking end result. (It looked to grainy before).
Before:
After:
Desiree, I love some of the visuals here, and the layered composition in the first and last pages create a great amount of depth. Love the “Help Me” page illustration with typography that creates the hands. Did you make this?
ReplyDeleteI’ll be commenting on what I see under the “After” section:
1. I can see that the cover is improved as you’ve simplified the heart shape helping us read it as part of the word. But… have you considered that the top of the heart is very much the shape of an “M”? Since I’m not familiar with this group, I wasn’t sure whether the title was “how to save” or “how to same” (which makes no sense… but then again, some cover titles don’t make sense). After a little research into The Fray group, I found the title elsewhere and additionally realized that the heart beat below the word adds to the title too. Wow, you are making the reader work pretty hard to see this title. I realize that I may not be your target audience, but think about the person looking at your portfolio… for their sake there should be no confusion about how to read this. So I encourage you to find a way to make this more readable – by reconsidering where the heart-shape sits in relation to the other letters next to it, and maybe using that “heart beat” font for “a life” elsewhere so we see it as words, and not just a visual. A color shift within the heart could help us see the bottom “v-shape” of the heart first, rather than the top. Is it too big in relation to the other letters? Does it sit too low? Some tweaks can help this design be clearer to the reader.
2. I assume this is an accordion fold out, so the number of panels can be 7. If, instead, it is a little booklet that has facing pages, then you will need to add another page for a total of 8. However, the page designs don’t appear to have been designed as facing pages (with unity between them) – each one of these page layouts seems to have very little in common with the others. Even the margins are different from page to page. Have you not thought about using a repeated grid on these pages, so the structure beneath them could lend some unity to the project as a whole? Again, some minor shifts in position could bring some needed continuity from page to page.
3. Another idea that can bring unity and connection to the pages would be to allow some elements to cross over to the next page. That’s the beauty of designing with accordion folds… each panel actually connects to the next one… and page elements that cross the boundary from page to page can pull the reader forward through the project. It could be a subtle background element that does this, which would not affect the current layout too much.
continued from above:
ReplyDelete4. Page 3 – the text wrap doesn’t appear to follow the edge of the heart. Why not? The wrap seems to have a mind of its own, overlapping and then swinging really wide… I do question that design decision.
5. Page 4 – The important word “Life” is lost, we don’t see it. Between sitting behind the (strangely organic) descending “save as” at left and then being a bit too distorted – you have hidden it well. Also, the repeated, upside down line at right pulls our eyes quickly as we try to figure out what that organic shape is doing, and why it is there. Is it necessary to repeat the words “save a” again in this way? I really question this organic plant-like element which we don’t see anywhere else on any of the pages? Is it needed?
Actually, I’m wondering what the purpose of this page is? What new information are we gaining by reading this? If there IS a good reason for its existence, then I recommend you find a way to reposition the letters/words so it is more readable. Even simply lowering the “E” in Life to the common x-height of the word would help tremendously. And, that would give you some room in upper right to actually add some content to the page.
6. Last page – Focal point is “Epic” – is this what you intend? How do you want us to read this page… starting where, and going where? It seems like that word is separating 2 important phrases “keep the beat going” and “how to save a life”… which would read better if they weren’t separated. Pulled together, some redesign would need to happen – but I think it might make more sense.
That’s it - lots to think about, however there is some really good design here, so it will be worth the effort!
nice piece. I agree with Coni I think that the text wrap should follow along with the shape of the heart better. The other thing that is bothering me might just be because my computer screen isn't the largest and it wont let me zoom but the script on the last page says "keep the" and I cant make out what it says after that... Something to consider changing or perhaps it can be read on a bigger screen or printed.
ReplyDeleteI like the reds, golds/tans, and blacks throughout the piece.
ReplyDelete1) For me, the edgier heart works better. It denotes more of a struggle, whereas the other heart denotes more a feeling of love songs. I think you know the music more to decide which fits the band best.
2) I agree with Coni that the reader has to work to read the cover headline. I missed the "a" in the heartbeat text the first time. Having a single space between the "a" and "life" helps to not lose the "a". However, even though the heartbeat font is tricky to read, I think it's a great choice for this CD. It may be more an issue of sizing and placement that makes things more or less readable.
And I agree about the text wrap around the heart.