1. The name of the magazine did not clearly identify what the magazine was about.
2.The angled bars of orange on the content page blend in with the background and get lost.
3. Different images in the spread may better relate to the articles content.
4.The format of the dates in the footer of the pages were different (this has been corrected).
5.There were grammatical errors that were pointed out and have also been corrected.
Greg this is clearly, a strong piece for your book,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts follow:
1. I question some of the typographic choices you have made here on this cover. You start out with a great gritty masthead title accompanied by a small sans serif. This is a good beginning to a contemporary magazine about current themes. Then, however, you introduce an Oldstyle serif font at the bottom for your cutlines (article names) and magazine theme title. I wonder if this is the best decision – because it introduces a 3rd font that doesn’t seem to support the strong, bold beginning of the design. Based on what I see inside, I’m not sure your approach is particularly formal (oldstyle serifs are good for formal design) – so I encourage you to think about continuing to use that very modern sans serif that I see up top for this type.
Also, I see places inside where you could use the sans serif such as in your Contents page (for the Heading, and subheadings – CONTENTS, FEATURE, DEPARTMENTS). Think of this second font as an accent font, and use it to be bold, but also to simply add interest. Using the serif font for the body copy is just fine, and will make the contents quite readable… my feedback is about the use of that font for headings.
2. “Fireground Communication” really challenges the masthead title as focal point – and you only need 1 strong focal point here. Think about reducing its size and prominence and the whole design will benefit. In fact, have you considered reducing it significantly and placing it up near the masthead title? That’s where it really belongs - top 1/3. I think it would be very interesting to see how it could be added to the elements at the top – strengthening that portion of the page rather than pulling attention away from it – and challenging (thus weakening) the masthead.
3. Since the cover is the most important page design of a magazine, let’s keep thinking about those cutlines at the very bottom. First - these items are usually accompanied by the page number they begin on. Have you considered adding page #s?
And, most designers hate bar codes and mailing labels because they interfere with the page balance and design. Many mags place this item on the back cover – and since that page isn’t even here – I recommend you drop it from this cover. This is going to help tremendously as you rethink the bottom of the cover. You could add another cutline here, which would help retain 3 elements down here to work with (maybe a good idea).
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Continued
ReplyDelete4. Contents – nice abstract line movement that implies upward pointing arrows between the photos. The issues I see here all live on the left side and concern the placement of the words Features, Fireground Communication, and Departments. Because of the slanted nature of the areas that hold type it will be important to establish some vertical alignment and then stick to it. You already have this alignment established with the page #s and the FL descriptions so I encourage you to use that same alignment for these other elements as well.
The other thing I want to mention is that I wonder if you’ve seen the very successful use of italic for use on slants? The slant of the italic, when placed on a counter slant, makes the font appear as if it is actually straight up and down – and this could be a nice clever typographic detail for use on some lines here (like issue title, and/or Features, Departments…).
5. There really is a lot of orange here – have you considered tempering that a bit with gradient blends that might make these thick orange lines evolve into brown, or red, or blue as they move between the photos? Look at the cover photo – it says “fire” with a grouping of colors rather than one overwhelming flat color.
6. Interior article – maybe I’m mistakenly thought that “Fireground Communication” was the issue title, but it’s really an article title? Or maybe it’s both (that happens rarely, but yes sometimes). OK.
I see 2 issues that you might want to think about. First – because of the FL orange subtitle, you need to help the reader return to the left to begin reading. A dropcap is quite usual for this purpose, and works well. Second – I see a number of different amounts of negative space between your image boxes and the text that surround them. This should be more consistent – and really be the same on all sides of the pictures.
That’s it – hope it helps.
Oops - sorry, I meant to say "because of the FR orange subtitle, you need...." (not FL).
ReplyDelete