1. Break up the hard line separating Anne's round "picture frame" from the black background on the left.
2. Lighten the text and headlines.
3. Spread the petals in Miep Gies' shirt over the whole red banner making a pattern behind the entire headline.
4. Get rid of the hand.
Changes implemented:
I think that adding this petal boarder around Anne's frame creates a lot of movement in the design and I like that a lot. But when I went to try suggestion 3 it was just too many petals and looked chaotic. The same deal with the hand. Believe it or not, the hand helps break up an otherwise overwhelming pattern of flower petals. When I cut it out, the petals took over and it didn't look right (to me anyway).
I lightened all the headlines and it will be noticeable I'm sure in print
I will still probably tweak the petal boarder but please let me know what you think of the concept! Is better? Worse?
Sam, I just noticed that you haven’t added a label to your post, I’ll add it now – but I won’t be catching it in the future, so let me know if you don’t know how to do this.
ReplyDeleteNice illustrator work – some thoughts:
1. Text block in upper left could wrap around the head better, and fill out that last line a tad so you aren’t left with a widow.
2. I think the petals are just fine, and it’s good that they are there to help add interest to the bottom background.
3. The hand is necessary – but the bowl is not. In fact, I find it distracting (I can’t read what is written there – but again, is it necessary?) I suggest you crop out the bowl by enlarging the vector portrait of Miep so the bowl just drops off the bottom of the page.
4. Font combination at bottom appears odd. I’m not convinced that these 2 fonts work well together in these sizes and for a heading use. Rethink this heading, so the emphasis isn’t overly great and you aren’t yelling at anyone… currently you are shouting the word “defended” while if I had to shout one of these words, it would probably be “defenseless”. But, ultimately, I’m not sure you should be shouting at anyone. This appears to be a thought provoking and commemorative design – not a political poster.
Some tweaks, and this is done!
Nice flow and movement to the design. I like the leaves breaking up the edge of the circle to the right of the body text.
ReplyDeleteHere are some suggestions:
1) Add a soft return at the end of the body text so that "fate for self" is on the last line.
2) Make the colors of the petals/leaves, behind the headline at the bottom and behind the tan swoosh, more subdued.
3) Spellcheck (example: durring should be during)
4) Call to action in the lower left doesn't work for me. It's hard to read at this size. Not sure what solution might be better.
Otherwise, nice work!