Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Extinguisher Rework #3
Well I have enhanced the surface the extinguisher is on by creating the "End" of the table. I also lightened the shadow so you can see the table through it. Moved it all to the left to make room for the type. Played with the typography a bit, put a text wrap along the extinguisher as evident in the first illustration. The background was also swapped out from the ugly green gradient to this light shade of gray.
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Greg - I vote for #1 because of the way the type interacts with the edge of the extinguisher, wrapping a bit around it.
ReplyDeleteThis drawing is so strong, I've been waiting for the table to match it in strength, but, it just doesn't. I see 2 very different illustration styles here: a realistic drawing of an extinguisher and an abstract overly simple rendition of a cartoon-type table…lacking realistic detail.
I've never seen a table surface look like this one, with bands of, what looks like, light reflections hitting it equidistantly across its surface. Really - what is this surface – is it supposed to be a wooden table? I suggest you rethink this part of the illustration – because it detracts from the fine job you did with the extinguisher.
I’ve asked before, but will ask again: Do you have a good reference for the table, like you did for the extinguisher? That’s what you need here – some good information about this form that includes realistic detail for the surface.
I believe you have 2 options:
1. Do a serious image search for a table that shows you the shapes and colors that work together to create a realistic table top. Use that information to draw a table, in the same way you drew the extinguisher – no short cuts. That way the styles will be the same, and the 2 forms will work together to create a successful composition.
Or
2. Decide to return to the table after the semester closes, but meanwhile make this composition work in another way. Drop the table – don’t use it at all. How else could this extinguisher appear on the page? Could it float, with a caste shadow moving behind it, diffusing into a very soft shape and hitting a wall? If the drop shadow was light enough (much lighter than your current caste shadow) it might work fine.
Another issue: the first 2 sentences should actually be 1 sentence separated with a comma.
Finally: Enlarge the pt size a bit of the body copy. I suggest that because I’m looking at the shape of the text block and feel like it needs to move down the side of the extinguisher a bit more for the sake of the page balance. Consider making the sentences sit separately, with added space between them. Anything to elongate this text block will help the composition.
That’s it. Don’t get hung up on this piece – make some drastic decisions and move on. Lots left to do, right?
I just love this extinguisher! It's such a strong piece. Perhaps it is best to remove the table for now and then revisit this piece after the semester ends, as Coni recommends.
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